Rude Awakening

Well now – It’s been a hot minute, hasn’t it?

I have to say that recently I just haven’t been feeling like myself.  I couldn’t quite put my finger on what the problem was… until this morning.   I’ve been battling a nasty backache that stemmed from digging my car out of a snowbank over a month ago.  My friend came and managed to sweet talk a plow driver into helping but evidently the damage was already done.   So… I have had this backache that has literally made me feel like a pariah.  I haven’t wanted to do anything that I enjoy.  Add to that the effects of winter – and my incessant eating….  Cripes!

Anyway, this morning I got out of bed and literally FELT heavy.  Like, my legs were struggling to carry my body and I just felt large, sluggish, and (the dreaded F-word) FAT!  I shrugged it off and carried on with my morning.   However, internally a light bulb must have went off.

I snuck onto the scale at work today and my jaw hit the floor.   I stepped off and back on, thinking that clearly something was wrong with the scale.  Nope…that number is right.   I won’t post the actual number because I am ASHAMED of myself.   However, suffice it to say…. It’s a good 30lbs over my previous heaviest point.  No wonder I’ve been achy and been feeling…. heavy.  Because my body is CRYING OUT for help.   It doesn’t like it!

I have to say, my heart and me head agree with my body — we no likey.  I already knew something was up – my clothes have been a little snug (although at an additional 30 lbs – I would have thought I’d be up a size or two?)  Anyway… I had already ordered the Advocare challenge. However… I don’t know if I can wait for that to arrive.

I am literally having a minor panic attack.  What have I been doing to myself!?   I will say that other aspects of my life have been spiraling out of control as well.  I’ve managed to grab the reins and gain some control the past few weeks.  I have found a program that helps spell out cleaning and de-cluttering.  Something I also desperately need.  I’m having pretty giid success with this plan.  However, I need to now focus on decluttering my body.

I *will* post more regularly here on my progress.  🙂

-She

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